


Purgatorial Limbo

by chaoticamanda



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, Reincarnation, Respawning, but Deacon and Nora are the main characters, but not companion death, kind of, more like, most characters are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8577640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticamanda/pseuds/chaoticamanda
Summary: He’s naturally suspicious of everyone, and the woman with Piper when Danny opens the gates is no exception. She introduces herself as Nora to the mayor and to Piper, cutting them both off with sarcastic remarks as though she’s heard their fights a thousand times before.





	

He’s naturally suspicious of everyone, and the woman with Piper when Danny opens the gates is no exception. She introduces herself as Nora to the mayor and to Piper, cutting them both off with sarcastic remarks as though she’s heard their fights a thousand times before. He wonders where Nora came from, because she seems...different. She looks shiny and new, like a recently emerged Vault Dweller, but she looks around the world like she knows exactly where everything is and how everything works.

He doesn’t expect it when she lets Piper head into the market by herself, bounding over to where he’s stationed in the corner. “Hey there,” she grins slyly, like she has a secret-- Deacon’s specialty.

“Welcome to the great green jewel of the Commonwealth,” he responds, looking down at her. When she continues to stare at him, he narrows his eyes behind his sunglasses, “This your first time?”

Nora laughs, “Depends. See ya around.” She offers no more explanation and heads into the city. She definitely knows something, and the way she smiles...Deacon categorizes her as unsafe and resigns himself to following her.

She spends some time in the city and eventually it looks like she’s heading toward Goodneighbor, so he takes a few shortcuts and beats her there. He watches as Hancock stabs a man in front of her in a show of dominance, and how she just laughs at him. Her companion, the synth detective, watches her with confusion as they head deeper into the settlement. There’s a brief flash on discomfort on her face when she sees The Third Rail, but they all keep walking. Deacon’s ears perk up when he hears “Memory Den”, and he follows closer behind them.

“Do we have any plans after this trip? I have a feeling this may take a bit,” Valentine murmurs, flexing the metal fingers of his worn away hand.

“It won’t take long,” Nora assures, “I’ve got some friends to visit afterwards.”

“Oh yeah?” Valentine glances at her, the cogs in his head grinding together, “Good friends, I hope. I’d hate to see such a cocky young woman like you get taken advantage of. This place is unforgiving.”

“You know I can take ‘em, Nicky,” she laughs, slowing as they reach the Memory Den, “and the friends...they live in a church, so they can’t be that bad, right?” Nora glances behind her, right at Deacon, and he feels his blood run cold.

He’s been following her. He knows she hasn’t walked the Freedom Trail. The events at the Switchboard flash before his eyes, and he’s torn between staying with Nora and warning the Railroad. In the end, he waits for Nora to finish up at the Den, and then he hightails it to the catacombs, waiting in the dark for her to approach.

She’s quick about it, good with her gun. She doesn’t look surprised to see him waiting outside of the door. “Hey there,” she repeats, shyly now, looking up at him.

His arms are crossed, and if this woman is a threat, he will kill her. She knows too much to not be a threat-- knows things it’s impossible for her to know. “Why are you here?”

“To join the Railroad?” she says almost impatiently, holstering her pistol. “I walked the--”

“You didn’t,” he cuts her off, jaw clenched. She pauses, peering at him.

“Do you follow all the girls around?”

“Only when they don’t make sense,” he admits, stepping closer to her. She shouldn't have put her gun away. “How did you know? That I was the guard?”

“I didn’t,” she lies, and he can see right through it, “I was just being friendly.”

“You knew. You know a lot of things, too many things.”

“Come on, Deacon--” she starts, but they both hear her mistake.

“How do you know that name?” he flashes a smile, predatory.

She sighs, and he can see that he’s cracking her. Another step closer. “I’ve heard about the Railroad from some people. You’re like...the infamous bad boy. I think everyone knows who you are.”

“Liar,” he practically snarls, “Tell me the _truth_.”

Nora snorts and raises her eyebrows, until she sees how serious he is. She squares her jaw, and glances behind him. “I’m not a threat to the Railroad,” she glances to the right, as if she has something else to add, but doesn’t. “Go in, go get ready to lurk in the shadows as Des interrogates me, and go endorse me. Then, I’ll tell you the truth. You can kill me at any time, Deacon,” Nora smiles sadly at him, “I won’t...I won’t stop you.”

Deacon doesn’t become any less tense, any less suspicious. It all just shifts. “If you try one thing, if you even look like you’re going to try something, I’m putting a bullet between your eyes.”

“I know,” that sad smile doesn’t fade, and they’re close enough now that she can touch his cheek easily, “I trust you.”

Deacon doesn’t recoil from the touch or jerk backwards, instead he narrows his eyes down at her and searches her face for an answer he doubts she’ll give. He doesn’t turn his back to her as he walks away, and she laughs a low tinkling sound. He wonders if the Institute made her or if she’s a human, an incredibly vexing human.

Ten minutes later he is lurking in the shadows just like she said he’d be. He comes in at the right time, and Nora smiles brightly when she sees him.

“Deacon, what do you know about her?” Desdemona asks, turning to him for his usual well of knowledge.

“Nothing,” he answers, “Absolutely nothing.”

Desdemona’s eyes go wide, “You mean to tell me you know nothing about this girl? Not a single shred of gossip?”

Deacon weighs his options for a moment, glancing down at Nora. She’s watching them with the same face she had just outside Diamond City. “Well, she has to be _somebody_ if she found us.”

In the end, Nora becomes a Railroad Agent under the guise of Whisper. Des orders him to take her along to the Switchboard, and he isn’t sure whether to be glad or apprehensive. Once they leave the church, he pulls out his gun, Tommy’s Deliverer. She eyes it not with fear, but fondness. “Start talking,” he grunts.

“Where do I start?” Nora sighs, glancing down at her hands.  

“At the beginning. Wherever the truth starts,” he says, scanning the streets around them for enemies, “Who are you?”

“I’m Nora Ma-- just Nora,” she wrings her hands and he looks back at her, his eyes narrowing. She just shakes her head, “I lived in Sanctuary before the war with my husband and son. We signed up for a Vault, and when we got there, they froze us. I woke up once, to see my husband being killed and baby son being kidnapped. When I woke up again, everyone else was dead and I was alone.”

Deacon doesn’t know if he believes her or not. She doesn’t sound horribly affected by being cryogenically frozen and losing her family. He thinks of Barbara. Nora must know what he’s thinking because she stops them, planting her feet square on the ground. “I’ve...I’ve made my peace with that. You’ll understand why...but I just want you to know that now. My husband...my son...they are a part of my life that I can never get back to, and they belong in the past.”

“You said your son was kidnapped,” Deacon says, trying to pick the few details she’s given clean, “Not killed.”

“He…” She looks away, frustrated with herself. They begin to walk again, and Deacon only loosens his grip on the Deliverer slightly, “It’s easier to explain in order. I woke up alone, two-hundred years in the future. I went to Concord, I discovered a man named Preston Garvey leading a small band of survivors. I helped them and they helped me.” Nora smiles softly, “Together we rebuilt the Minutemen, and I was their General.”

Deacon stops them again, raising the gun, “The deal was that you told me the truth. The Minutemen have been dead for months. I know you’re not their General.”

Nora glances at the gun, and to his irritation, rolls her eyes, “Just listen, Deacon. Look, why don’t we hole up somewhere so I can actually tell you what’s going on without having to worry about...undesirables?”

He tells himself that the only reason he lets her guide them to a ruined apartment is because he needs to find out how she knew about the Railroad. Lying to himself has always been a bit more difficult than to everybody else.

“So where was I?” Nora muses, sitting with her back against a wall and her knees drawn up to her stomach. “I went to Concord, and then to Diamond City. I was looking for my son, for his kidnapper. I ended up...I ended up finding out that the Institute had taken him. So...I killed a courser and brought the chip to you to decode, to Tom.” He listens closely, trying to understand why she would so blatantly lie to him when faced with death.

“Long story short,” she sighs, “I built a teleporter with the help of the Minutemen to gain access to the Institute to find my son. Before that though, when I was wandering around the Freedom Trail trying not to get killed, I found Goodneighbor. I found…” she takes a shaky breath, curling her fingers together. Deacon’s eyebrows furrow, and he leans a little closer to her. “I hired a mercenary named Robert Joseph Maccready to accompany me. We…” she takes another breath, “...he helped me survive and I helped him save his son. I...I loved him.”

“Loved? As in past tense?” Deacon pushes, trying to string together the narrative here.

“Just-- just listen, please,” she whispers, and he feels just the tiniest drop of guilt in his gut. “We built the teleporter, I went into the Institute. I wanted to find my son, who I was led to believe was actually ten years old and not a baby. I found him.”

“And? What happened to your son?” Deacon prompts, leaning forward again. He decides this is an interesting story, if nothing else. He can still kill her.

“My son,” she looks him in the eye, “is currently the Director of the Institute.”

Deacon jerks away from her, brandishing the Deliverer, “Your son is the head of the Institute?”

Her head thumps against the wall, a few fat tears rolling down her cheeks, “He was in his sixties. Is. I missed his whole life, frozen in some fucking tomb.”

“So you’re with the Institute?” Deacon asks, forcing the words through his teeth. How could he have been so stupid? Of course, that’s how she knew about all of them.

“I’ve never been with the Institute,” She closes her eyes, a dangerous thing to do when a gun is pointed in her face, “I was just an experiment to him. He wanted to see how far I would go, to get him back.”

“Why should I believe you?” Deacon hisses, flexing his fingers on the grip, shifting the weight.

“Don’t you at least want to know how the story ends?” Nora murmurs, her eyes still closed.

“It doesn’t mean I won’t kill you,” he snarls, thinking of all the synths crawling around the Switchboard. Would she have just pushed him into their mob?

“I killed him.” Nora continues, “He was dying of cancer, and he was hurting all those people…I talked to him on his death bed, you know. He told me…he told me that I couldn’t save him, that this hell I woke up in isn’t a fairy tale, and that I…” She takes a deep breath, “…I was going to destroy everything he ever loved.”

“Did you?” Deacon asks, even though she’s already said she blew up the Institute with the Minutemen.

“Yes,” Nora starts to cry again, “I left him and blew the Institute to high heaven. My son. Even if he wasn’t really mine at that point, he still…” She trails off, opening her eyes and staring straight down the barrel of the Deliverer. “I went home and buried my husband and built a new life. We were friends, me and you…not very good ones, but we counted on each other, nonetheless. I had Rob…and we brought his son up from the Capitol and after a while, my life started to seem _okay_ again. The Minutemen were making a real difference, and once the Institute was gone, things got just a little easier for synths…”

“That can’t be the end,” Deacon sneers, even though her words are getting to him.

“It’s not,” she laughs, a low, miserable sound this time, “I don’t get a happy ending. I was seven months pregnant when this huge, armed to the teeth Super Mutants killed me. I remember laying there, bleeding out, thinking, it can get any worse than this. Hell’s got nothing on the Wasteland, right?”

Nora’s voice is cold, and her fingers clench into fists, “I woke up in that goddamn cryo tube. I remembered everything, I knew everything I had done had happened, but my husband was right back in his pod across from me. Everything was…reset.”

“So that’s why you’re here?” Deacon leans back, his gun still pointed at her. Maybe in some twisted way it makes sense. Maybe it’s all just an elaborate lie crafted to betray him and the Railroad.

“If only,” she sighs, leaning forward and wiping her tears, “I was so angry that I joined the Brotherhood.”

“That’s almost as bad as the Institute,” Deacon blurts before he can stop himself.

She offers him a wry smile, “I just wanted revenge. None of the people I loved…remembered me. So I skipped Concord, and went straight to the police station. At first, everything was okay. I went on missions with my Paladin, and we became so close…” she looks down, “…almost as close as Rob and I had been.”

“You didn’t go back to him?” Deacon asks, honestly enjoying the drama of it all just the slightest bit.

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t deal with knowing everything about him, loving him, when he didn’t know anything about me anymore. I don’t think of him as mine…not in any universe but the original.” She shakes her head, “Anyway…I ended up too deep with the Brotherhood. I couldn’t do everything they asked of me, especially when it was discovered that my lover was a synth. Maxson ordered me to kill him.”

Deacon thinks he knows the answer to his question before he asks it, “And did you?”

“No,” She says fiercely, looking up at him defiantly, “He wanted me to kill him, but I refused. I said that we’d find a way to make it work, and I managed to convince him. But Maxson didn’t trust me, and followed me there. He tried to kill Danse himself, but I wouldn’t let him. Finally…he ordered Danse out of the Commonwealth, with the orders that I take Danse’s place.

“After Maxson left, I begged Danse not to go—that we could both go into hiding, or I could just secretly work with Brotherhood _and_ him.” Nora takes another shaky breath, looking away from Deacon, “Maxson…his next orders for me were to kill everyone in the Railroad.”

Deacon clenches his jaw, anger beginning to pulse in his chest, “I bet you did, didn’t you?”

She looks close to tears again, “I fled the Brotherhood and went into hiding with Danse. But Deacon…you came after me. I was never going to touch the Railroad, not when we had been friends…but you didn’t remember that. So you came after Danse and I, and I had to kill you.”

Deacon tells himself to just kill her now. Even if everything she’s saying is true, she’s a threat. If it’s not true, she’s still a threat. Finally he says, “You died again?”

“I was fighting a Deathclaw,” she nods, “and low and behold, I woke up again. I…I guess I just thought all I had left was to start over. This time…this time I was going to go to you. Maybe in some misguided attempt to make up for killing you last time.”

“That’s the end of your story?” Deacon asks again, watching her closely. “You were going to try to woo me?”

She snorts at that, “Haven’t you been listening? I _know_ you, Deacon. You’d never let anybody _that_ close—not even me.”

“What happens next?” Deacon asks, the gun still raised and pointed directly at her. It would be a point blank shot, slated to kill her.

She slowly clambers to her feet, watching the gun rise with her. Nora looks into his eyes, and he sees the age in hers, “You can kill me, and I’ll probably just wake up again. Or maybe…maybe I’ll finally get to just die. If you don’t kill me…well, I don’t really know. This is a new story for me,” Nora gives him her sly little smile, “I guess you’re the one who gets to write it this time.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this fic like a _long_ time ago, and just rediscovered it when i was going thru my old google drive. it had basically everything but the ending, so i tacked that on since i couldn't remember how i actually meant it to end. all i know was that i was on my third playthrough of fo4, trying to do a railroad run, and undertale was out around the same time. if you don't know, a character in that game knows about all of your save resets and i started thinking about it in fallout, and decided that deacon would probably be that?? anyways thanks for reading


End file.
